"The last time I could have helped them was years ago," he replied, though his blank expression had shifted into a slightly concerned frown and he switched to russian. "My people are dead, my culture eradicated. That will not change, no matter what happens to these ghosts."
"What does it matter when they die?"
He knew why it mattered, he did, deep in his soul he knew. But he feared that if he allowed himself to get involved, if he allowed to himself care again, he'd drown in his grief and guilt again. It was only by diligently repressing the past and focusing on the future that he kept himself useful. And only by still being useful did he have any right to still live.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-06-26 10:26 am (UTC)"What does it matter when they die?"
He knew why it mattered, he did, deep in his soul he knew. But he feared that if he allowed himself to get involved, if he allowed to himself care again, he'd drown in his grief and guilt again. It was only by diligently repressing the past and focusing on the future that he kept himself useful. And only by still being useful did he have any right to still live.